In this short episode, Becky shares how to shift from fear to excitement so you can stop holding yourself back.
Although Aleia Walker earned her bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing, she wound up taking a job as an insurance claims adjuster “just for the sake of getting a job.” She then found her way into self-employment as a freelance web designer and developer.
Her business was booming—but it didn’t feel right. Despite her fears about looking flighty, she got gutsy and made another change. Aleia realized she really loved email marketing and set out to build it into a business.
The pivot paid off, and even the air around Aleia began to feel different when she was finally working on her purpose. She’s found more success than ever before. “I’m happier, and more energetic about all the things—even when it’s tax time,” she says. “I chose this life and it’s so exciting to live it.”
- It’s important to have gratitude even for jobs you don’t love (2:50)
- Reframing your thoughts and words about bad situations can change everything (3:45)
- It’s normal to fear looking flighty during times of transition (5:33)
- There comes a point when you have to stop caring about how things appear and focus on how they feel to you (7:21)
- Trying to do everything can lead to burnout (9:18)
- It can be easier to time a pivot with a natural break in your business (10:20)
- Making a pivot in your business involves logistical changes in addition to mindset shifts (11:17)
- Working in your purpose makes everything feel better (12:30)
- You get to decide if you’re happy or not (13:50)
- Don’t make major changes “cold turkey” (15:20)
- Money mindset work is so important when you go from getting a paycheck to paying yourself— and taking Becky’s Money Mindset course can help (17:55)
Aleia Walker crafts email marketing and tech funnels for busy creatives who don’t have time to figure out where all the pieces go. She’s a word and data nerd who loves getting in the weeds and coming back and presenting you the goods. With a degree in Creative Writing, she’s found a way to blend my love for nice things (and nicer spirits) to create experiences that move customers and clients into action and more profits into your pockets so you can spend more time serving your people.
In this short episode, Becky shares 5 tips for how to deal with clients who act like jerks.
You’re smart. You make regular sales. Your clients love you. And yet…
Self-doubt frequently stops you in your tracks.
More often than you’d like to admit, you feel like a complete and total fraud. You’re certain you don’t measure up to your peers and it feels like it’s just a matter of time before everyone realizes it, too.
Sound familiar? It’s called Imposter Syndrome—and most smart, high-achieving women grapple with it from time to time (or all the freaking time).
Imposter Syndrome is the biggest challenge most of my clients face. When we work on this issue together, we spend time reflecting on when and why it took root, rewriting those beliefs, and developing tools for silencing the nasty inner critic when it pipes up.
Ready to feel more confident? Here are my three best tips for quieting Imposter Syndrome so self-doubt no longer holds you back from next-level success.
1. Don’t feed the beast
Here’s how most of my super smart clients try to fight Imposter Syndrome: They scold themselves.
“This is so stupid. Why can’t I just get over this?”
“I know better than this. Stop being an idiot!”
Here’s the problem with trying to berate yourself out of Imposter Syndrome. It only serves to feed the beast.
Belittling yourself reinforces the negative thoughts you’re already having. Saying “you’re stupid” when you’re feeling stupid just gives your inner critic more fuel for the fire. It tells that voice it’s correct, which only serves to amplify it.
You have to love your way out of Imposter Syndrome, which brings me to my next tip…
2. Tap into your empathy
Instead of yelling at your inner critic, give her a hug. Think of it like a scared toddler, who just wants to be heard and loved.
The next time that voice pipes up telling you that you’re not good (or smart, pretty, experienced) enough, take a moment to hear it out. Listen to what it has to say, thank it for its concern, and then politely tell it to pipe down.
Try saying something like: “Thanks for trying to protect me from being hurt (or disappointed, embarrassed, etc.), but I’ll be okay.”
It sounds silly, I know, but doing this little exercise can totally reframe your thoughts. Quiet that nagging voice by giving yourself loving, compassionate permission to take a risk in the face of fear.
3. Choose a mantra
Calming your scared inner toddler may not feel like enough. In that case, I find it can also be very helpful to have a mantra to turn to for additional support.
Once you’ve done the steps above, you can repeat your mantra to yourself (aloud or in your head) as you push through the discomfort of doing whatever it is that scares you.
Choose a line that helps you remain focused on your goal or that reframes your fears. Keep it simple enough that you can memorize it and recite it without having to look it up.
Here are a few mantras you can try (or come up with one that’s uniquely yours):
Great things never come from comfort zones
I’m not afraid to be great
I am open to new adventures
Failure is not fatal
I’m meant to be here
I hope these three tips help you quiet your rude inner critic and stop allowing Imposter Syndrome to keep you stuck. Use these tricks over and over again until you feel your self-doubt slowly fade away. You can do it, and soon you’ll be feeling like the Gutsy Boss you were born to be!
Need more help overcoming Imposter Syndrome? Click here to get my *free* workbook that walks you through a few more tools to quiet your inner critic.
When Amanda Flisher finally uncovered her true core values—and started living into them—everything shifted for the better.
She identified freedom, family, community and growth were most important to her, and the true drivers for her happiness. Armed with that information, she was able to shift her priorities, unhook from expectations, and finally create her coaching business.
Amanda joins Becky to geek out over values, and explain why values are more than just a silly exercise, but an incredibly powerful tool for life and business.
More nuggets in this episode:
- Values aren’t just “woo woo” magic; they are a really practical tool for breaking out of fear-based decision making (5:05)
- To make values work really matter, you need to do it because you’re truly invested in the process (7:00)
- Struggling with getting clear on your values? Brené Brown could be the answer! (10:10)
- Whittling down to as few values as possible is important (12:23)
- Choosing your community wisely can help you live into your values (15:55)
- Devoting yourself to values work can increase your compassion for yourself and others (18:30)
- When you’re truly rooted in your values, making decisions becomes easier and less likely to end in regret (21:20)
Amanda Flisher is a self-leadership coach offering insight and guidance for leaders seeking growth and new opportunities. As an experienced leadership and strengths coach, she works with high-level achievers and inspired humans undergoing huge changes. Amanda holds an Associate Certified Coach Credential through the International Coach Federation, was trained as a Strengths Educator through the Gallup Organization, and earned her Master’s degree in Organizational Management.
In this short episode, Becky shares how to tell whether you’re being authentic in your business and how to fix it if you’re not.