How to Have a Better Relationship with Money

How to Have a Better Relationship with Money

​Looking to improve your relationship with money? There are many important actions you can take, but here’s one important piece of advice: Start treating money better.

Stop avoiding it, hating it, resenting it, wasting it, or otherwise being a jerk to money. This exercise starts with what you already have.

[Another good read: 10 Books to help improve your relationship with money]

1. Show gratitude: Be aware of, and thankful for, all the wealth you already have. Take a moment right now to look around you and say a heartfelt “thanks” for everything money has given you. I’m confident your list will be quite lengthy.

Focusing less on lack and more on abundance is key to shifting your money mindset.

2. Know your numbers: Do you know how much money you make? How much you spend and on what? Do you have a financial plan? Honoring your money means being a responsible steward of your money by having and using a budget, paying bills on time, saving and spending wisely, and otherwise caring for your cash.

3. Spend smart: Audit your spending for a month—and I mean every penny you use. Where are you being wasteful? When are you engaging in mindless spending? How could you automate, eliminate, streamline, or otherwise better utilize your money?

A healthy money mindset is about respecting and appreciating money, not coveting or misusing it.

4. Act like a CEO: As a business owner, the best way you can respect and appreciate your money is to get serious about it. That means having a separate business account, paying yourself a salary, setting aside money for taxes, earning a profit, and saving for retirement. If all of that feels overwhelming, I highly recommend reading “Profit First” for a layperson’s guide.

5. Charge more: Stop undervaluing your products or services—and stop resenting people for paying you too little when you don’t ask them to pay more. Treating money well means asking for as much of it as you think is right for what you sell. Anything less says you don’t value money—or yourself.

Ready to really do the work to improve your money mindset? Enroll in my Money Mindset Crash Course. It’s a 30-day program designed to help you stop believing your lies and start having a healthy relationship with money.

Dealing with financial ups and downs in businessDealing with financial ups and downs in business
Dealing with Financial Ups and Downs in Business

Dealing with Financial Ups and Downs in Business

There are times when you’re so busy you can’t see straight, and the money is flowing in. Then everything shifts, and you worry you’ll never make another sale or land another client.

This feast-famine cycle is common. Very few businesses, especially smaller or newer ones, are earning consistent revenue month after month.

When business slows, it’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole of panic and shame.

In this video, I share five strategies I’ve found helpful in dealing with ups and downs in business.

[Another good read: 10 Books to help improve your relationship with money]

1. Know you’re not alone We tend to always believe that we are the exception to every rule. In this case, we think no other business experiences periods of drought.

Thanks to this story we tell ourselves, we don’t talk to anyone about our fears because we worry it would be admitting “failure” and looking like a fraud. That’s a lonely and scary place to be.

With 100% certainty, I can tell you’re not alone. I’ve been self-employed for 15+ years, and I still have highs and lows. In 2019, as an example, I had a $15k month and a $2,500 month.

Take a risk and be vulnerable enough to tell your biz besties about the hard times and your fears. You’ll likely hear a chorus of “me too,” and that support network can also help you devise a plan to turn things around.

2. Plant seeds Worry is a waste of time, instead view your open schedule as an opportunity to finish all the marketing things you put off when busy. Plant seeds now, and you’ll be reaping the rewards of this slow season for months and years to come.

When money starts flowing in again (and it inevitably will, especially if you’re planting seeds now), don’t stop your marketing and selling efforts.

Yes, it’s hard to make time for filling your pipeline, especially when you’re busy with paying work. But that’s a great problem to have! And it’s shortsighted and problematic to stop marketing when we’re busy. If a client doesn’t re-sign, you hit a seasonal slowdown, etc., then you’ll be right back to famine and panic.

Always be planting seeds, and you’ll always have more feast than famine.

3. Look at the data It’s easy to spiral from “I’m not making enough money right now” to “I’m a loser.” This is particularly true when we rely only on our bank account and our feelings to assess our success.

The cure is to track more metrics in your business so you can use factual data to assess your progress. Sales may be down, but perhaps you’re growing your email list or appearing on more podcasts—or any number of other things that might later result in sales. Revenues may be down, but perhaps your actual profits are up, or you are getting more repeat clients. Knowing *all* of your numbers will paint a more complete picture of the ways you’re growing and improving, even if actual sales are down.

Also, you can use this real data to be aware of your specific feast-famine cycle. If year after year, work slows down every holiday or every summer, you can be better prepared for them, financially and emotionally.

4. Take a break When work is light and money is tight, it probably sounds counterintuitive (and impossible) to relax. Yet it may be the only time to slow down and recharge your batteries.

The truth is, most of us let self-care slip when we’re swamped with work. That makes it all the more important to take a little time during a slow season to get a massage, go for a walk, binge Netflix. Reframe “slow times” as flex time. You worked your butt off to earn this time off!

5. Don’t quit (yet) Never make a big decision on your worst day. In that state of panic, any choice you make is based on feelings, not facts. It’s rooted in the story you’re telling yourself, and one that will very likely change in short order. (The same is true, by the way, for making decisions on your best days.)

Feelings aren’t facts! Take a break and, when you feel more even keeled, analyze the facts before doing something rash like changing your business model or quitting.

While my business still has a bit of a feast-famine cycle, I no longer allow it to create a peace-panic cycle, too. That’s because I’ve done a lot of hard work to shift from a scarcity mindset to abundance thinking. I now know with absolute confidence that I can—and will—always make more money.

You can get there, too. If you’re ready to develop an abundance mindset, enroll in my Money Mindset Crash Course. It’s a 30-day program designed to help you create a healthy relationship with money so you can make more of it!

Dealing with financial ups and downs in businessDealing with financial ups and downs in business
Not Investing in Your Business is a Money Mindset Issue

Not Investing in Your Business is a Money Mindset Issue

Are you investing in your business? For a solid decade, I basically didn’t. The idea of parting with my hard-earned dollars was scary. I also thought it was irresponsible to spend on things I could do myself.

Sound familiar?

It took more than a decade for me to realize that doing everything myself wasn’t saving money—it was actually costing me money.

​​In this video, I share why not investing in your business is a sign of scarcity thinking (and a money mindset problem).

[Another good read: 10 Books to help improve your relationship with money]

In the past, I easily spent an hour each month (and likely far more than that) emailing back and forth with clients just to find workable meeting times. Now, I use Acuity Scheduling to automate that process.

I don’t charge hourly, but I value my hours at about $250 each. Acuity costs $15 a month. By avoiding an hour of emailing, I save $235 each month or $2820 a year. No, I don’t put that much cash into the bank, but I free up the potential to earn that much during that same time.

Another way to look at it? I was paying myself $250 to do what Acuity could do for $15.

When I reframed each of my expenses this way, I couldn’t believe I had waited so long to invest in my business.

Today, I spend $247.99 per month on tools for my business (there’s a link in the description if you want to see which ones I use). It includes programs for appointment scheduling, client management, bookkeeping, email management, course hosting, and social media scheduling.

Does $248 a month sound huge to you? If so, I felt the same way few years ago. But now I realize that’s less than hour hour of my hourly value, and there is absolutely no way I can manually do everything those tools do in an hour (or even in many hours).

The lesson? Our thoughts around money are just that—thoughts. When we actually examine our money mindset, everything can change.

I once thought spending money was bad. It filled me with worry and fear. Now I realize those thoughts were rooted in scarcity and lack. With a simple shift in thinking, I could see the same expenditures as good, helpful, worthwhile. The only change was making choices from a place of abundance and wealth.

Sound easier said than done? I If you’re ready to learn how to develop an abundance mindset, enroll in my Money Mindset Crash Course. It’s a 30-day program designed to help you create a healthy relationship with money so you can make more of it!

Investing in Your Business (it’s a Money Mindset Issue)

Investing in Your Business (it’s a Money Mindset Issue)

Investing in Your Business (it’s a Money Mindset Issue)

Want a Better Relationship with Money? Stop Telling Yourself These Money Lies

Want a Better Relationship with Money? Stop Telling Yourself These Money Lies

What does it really mean to change your “money mindset”? Put simply, it’s when your stop believing your stories, or lies, about money.

​In this video, I share six of the most common lies we believe about money (and why they’re wrong):

[Another good read: 10 Books to help improve your relationship with money]

Here are five of the most common lies I see people telling themselves about money:

1. “I don’t deserve more money.”
Fact: Money has absolutely nothing to do with a person’s worth. It’s merely a currency, given in exchange for the perceived value of a product or service. It’s wholly separate from YOUR value. No one deserves money more or less than anyone else. And having more or less of it doesn’t make someone better/worse, worthy/unworthy.

2. “I’d be happy if I had more money.” Fact: Money has very little to do with happiness. After about $70,000 (or $95k per year to live a dream life), money does nothing to change how people feel. The truth is, you can be happy making very little money or miserable making a ton of money. It’s about you, not your bank account.

3. “It’s bad to want more money.”
Fact: Money isn’t bad—or good. (See #1.) Likewise, it’s not bad or good to want money. It’s ultimately no different than wanting any other stack of paper. It may be valid to judge how you use money, but not how much you want or have.

4. “There’s a limited amount of money.”
Fact: There’s some $1.75 trillion worth of U.S. physical currency in circulation (not to mention all the other currency in the world). That’s an unimaginable amount, and more than enough for you to make as much as you need or want.

5. “Making money must be hard work.”
Fact: If earning were in direct correlation to effort, the richest people would be farmers, firefighters, teachers, trash collectors. In fact, it can be difficult to make money—or incredibly simple. Again, money is given for perceived value, not real or perceived effort.

6. “I’m not good with money.”
Fact: No one comes out of the womb with a comprehensive understanding of things like investing, saving, or budgeting. Anyone can learn how to manage money, including you. Being “good” with money isn’t a talent, it’s a skill that you can learn if you choose.

The good news? It’s entirely possible to rewrite these or any other stories you have about money. If you’re ready to learn how, enroll in my Money Mindset Crash Course. It’s a 30-day program designed to help you stop believing your lies and start having a healthy relationship with money.

Want a Better Relationship with Money? Stop Telling Yourself These Money LiesWant a Better Relationship with Money? Stop Telling Yourself These Money Lies
10 Money Mindset Books You Should Read

10 Money Mindset Books You Should Read

Is money a constant struggle? Does it feel like there’s never enough? Or maybe you swing wildly between having plenty and then scraping to get by. Whatever your particular challenge, you’re not alone if money causes you more stress than joy.

I help women overcome their limiting beliefs, and scarcity thinking is among the most common. If you’re ready to change your thinking about (and relationship with) money, these money mindset books can help.

Looking for more actionable steps you can put into action today to improve your money mindset? Join the hundreds of other women who have taken my Money Mindset Crash Course. You’ll get 30 days of bite-sized, practical education and exercises to help you finally take control of your finances.

(Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning—at no additional cost to you—I’ll get earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase.)

“Get Rich, Lucky Bitch” by Denise Duffield-Thomas

Unlock your hidden potential for abundance with sassy and smart advice from Denise Duffield-Thomas. She’s a bit more “woo” than me, so this book really dives into the idea of manifesting. But Denise tells it like it is, so I still highly recommend it even for practical-minded folks.

She says the reason women most settle for pennies instead of embracing true wealth isn’t not because they’re not smart or ambitious. It’s because they’ve been programmed to block wealth with guilt, shame, or embarrassment. Even if you’re unaware of these blocks and fears, she says, you’re probably not earning what you’re really worth.

“You can be richer starting today, if you’re brave enough to define exactly what you want.”

Denise Duffield-Thomas

“You Are a Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero

There’s plenty of adult language in this book, but if you don’t mind that then you’ll likely enjoy Jen Sincero’s humor and honesty. This is her manifesto on money, and why each of us deserves to make more of it. 

This book is much more of a pep talk than a practical guide. Don’t turn here for step-by-step tips or exercises (that’s where my Money Mindset Crash Course can help), but use it for inspiration and motivation.

“You can have excuses or you can have success; you can’t have both.”

Jen Sincero

“Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T. Harv Eker

We each have a personal money blueprint ingrained in our subconscious minds, and it determines our financial lives.

Eker explains how your childhood influences have shaped your financial destiny, how to identify your blueprint, and how to revise it to create success. He also shares the 17 ways rich people think and act differently than most poor and middle-class people, including action steps you can practice to increase your income.

“It’s not enough to be in the right place at the right time. You have to be the right person in the right place at the right time.”

T. Harv Eker

Pep talks, manifesting, and inspirational stories aren’t enough to make lasting changes to your money mindset. I believe you also need to learn how to actually manage your money. After all, what good is attracting more wealth if you don’t know how to keep it?

In this book, you’ll get practical tips for ditching debt, saving money, and building wealth. Learn how to do things like build a budget (and stick with it), keep your credit in check, build a nest egg, and generally be accountable for your financial well-being.

“Yes, it’s important to dream—and to dream big at that—but there’s a difference between having your dreams become your reality and having your dreams stay out of reach: being specific with what you want out of life.”

Bola Sokunbi

“Profit First” by Mike Michalowicz

Like the last book, this one is about how to smartly handle your money. I implemented this financial accounting method in my business in 2019 and it not only made me feel like a badass CEO, it helped me dramatically increase my profit margin (ie, helped me make/keep more money).

It takes some work to put this system into action. In fact, it’s a giant pain in the ass. But I *PROMISE* you that it is worth the effort. This is one of the most important and powerful things I’ve ever done in my 15+ years of self-employment.

“A financially healthy company is a result of a series of small daily financial wins, not one big moment. Profitability isn’t an event; it’s a habit.”

Mike Michalowicz

“The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks

No list of mindset books is complete without “The Big Leap.” I believe it’s the first book anyone should read when working on their mindset.

This book can help you create a major perspective shift. You’ll learn about the four most common fears that hold us back, and begin to understand how you can push beyond them to achieve your full potential in work, relationships, finance, and all other walks of life.

“If I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them.”

Gay Hendricks

“Mindset” by Carol Dweck

Believing you can earn unlimited money is a great example of a growth mindset. Sadly, many of us instead inherited fixed mindsets that are certain we lack some special something required to make more.

This book explains the difference between the fixed and growth mindsets, and offers ideas for how to shift your own. It’s a must-read for parents who don’t want to pass their own limited thinking onto their children.

“The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome . They’re tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues.”

Carol Dweck

“The Power of Broke” by Daymond John

Money mindset work is generally focused on thinking and acting wealthy. But I like adding in this perspective on the importance of staying hungry. It’s not about fostering a poverty mindset, but instead about thinking outside the box to make more out of limited circumstances.

John says this type of thinking is what allowed him to turn a $40 t-shirt business into a $6 billion company. If you’re like me, you find more inspiration from a “pull myself up by my boostraps” story than a “think happy thoughts” pep talk.

“Life is like business, 20% of what happens to you is 80% of how you react.”

Daymond John

“The Wealth Choice” by Dennis Kimbro

The money mindset discussion is dominated by white voices and marginalized people are, once again, pushed to the margins. It needs to stop, and that’s one reason I love this book.

Based on a 7-year study of 1,000 of the wealthiest African Americans, this book offers a trove of sound and surprising advice about climbing the economic ladder, even when the odds seem stacked against you. Learn how business leaders, entrepreneurs, and celebrities found their paths to wealth; what they did or didn’t learn about money early on; what they had to sacrifice to get to the top; and the role of discipline in managing their success.

“Our todays are what our yesterdays made them; our tomorrows must inevitably be the product of our todays.”

Dennis Kimbro

“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill

Speaking of white people dominating the money mindset discussion…the “founding father” of the manifesting movement is Napoleon Hill. This is one of the books that started it all so, while it’s written by an old white dude, it’s worth reading.

“You are the master of your destiny. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.”

Napoleon Hill

money mindset books
money mindset books
money mindset books
6 Signs You Have a Scarcity Mindset

6 Signs You Have a Scarcity Mindset

You may have a scarcity mindset if statements like these sound familiar…

“Who am I to charge $____?”
“Why would anyone ever pay me $____?”
“I’d have to work endless hours to make $____.”

I hear some version of these statements from most of my coaching clients. It pains me to hear them, but I also understand them.

Thankfully, my days of the feast-famine, calm-crazy financial cycle are over. After lots of hard work, I’ve shifted from a scarcity mindset to abundance thinking. I’ve developed practical strategies for overcoming fears, pushing past doubts, and finally believing I can and will make more money.

[Want to learn my secrets? I spill them all in my 30-Day Money Mindset crash course. Don’t miss this chance to finally shift your thinking!]

Not sure if it’s scarcity thinking that’s holding you back from making more money? Here are six signs:

1. Constant worry: Money is almost always on your mind. You’re stuck in a worry cycle, spending hours a day (and losing sleep at night) over your fear of not having enough money.

2. Judgment (aka secret envy): You think rich people are arrogant, lucky, spoiled, rude, etc. and having money is bad. It’s easier to say you don’t want money than to deal with your guilt, shame, or other negative feelings about it.

3. Avoidance: Money goes as quickly as it comes in. You’re “bad” with money and don’t want to deal with it (after all, “If I have money, I’ll just lose it”) so you don’t bother with pesky things like bookkeeping.

4. Low prices: You’ve priced your way to the bottom of your industry because no one would ever pay a premium for what you do, right? When someone says you’re too expensive, you believe them.

5. Overspending: Shopping is fun! You buy without thinking, spend everything you have, and use shopping like others use alcohol or food. Hitting “buy” is like a warm cozy blanket.

6. Underspending: Shopping is evil! Every penny you spend now is one less you’ll have in the future when you may need it more. “I can’t afford it” is always your go-to response (whether you’ve looked at your accounts or not).

Recognize yourself in any of those? Are you letting any of these pesky mindset problems hold you back? If so, make this the year you finally conquer your scarcity mindset and start thinking like a millionaire.

Sign up today for my Money Mindset crash course. It’s 30 days of inspiration and practical strategies that will challenge you to change your beliefs about money. Give yourself this gift and make this your most profitable year yet.

6 Signs of Scarcity Thinking with video from mindset coach Becky Mollenkamp
6 signs of a scarcity mindset6 signs of a scarcity mindset6 signs of a scarcity mindset