Some days I’m great, other days are hard. In the past, I’d beat myself up on bad days. My inner dialogue would go something like, “You spent last week feeling great? What a joke! This is the real you—a total loser. A loser who can’t even snap yourself out of this. You’ll always be a loser, so stop trying to fight it.”

Those days are long gone. Today, that conversation goes something like, “Today may suck, but that’s okay. These feelings never last; you’ll be okay. Until then, remember I love you!”

Bad days—or weeks, months, years—happen.

It’s nonsense to pretend that we can all be happy all the time. If that’s your goal, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment and self-loathing.

What really matters is how we handle the bad times. You can kick yourself while you’re down, or love yourself through it.

Think about how you talk to yourself on bad days. Here’s a little permission and encouragement to give yourself some grace. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend. You don’t have to be your own worst enemy.

It’s as simple as it sounds, but also incredibly difficult (it took me years to get here).

Each time you change your inner dialogue, even just a little, you rewire your brain. Slowly and surely, your unconscious, knee-jerk thoughts and feelings will begin to change. And that’s powerful.