How do you respond when “the worst thing” happens? You know what it is–that thing you’ve feared the most, but soon learned it was destined to be your “worst.” Today’s show is about making the choice to move forward with good and a flat-out refusal to let that worst moment define you, even though it forever changes you.
When Christine McAlister lost her first daughter, she realized she had a choice. She had the choice to hope to survive and keep doing what was comfortable and normal and what others expected of her or to get over her fears and use the grief to create a legacy that mattered for her daughter and for herself. She chose the latter and her whole life changed for the better. She started a new, more aligned business, co-founded a non-profit with her husband, and rediscovered who she’d been as a child—her true self–someone who was ready to use her unique gifts to help others. This is a story of devastating loss and incredible triumph.
Christine is a business and success coach and the author of The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Simple Steps To Doing What You Love & Making Six Figures From Anywhere. Her company, Life with Passion, helps high-achieving go-getters use their gifts to quit their 9-5’s by creating and growing online businesses from their passions. We talk about the difficult subject of losing a child and how that experience shaped Christine’s life. It’s a beautiful and moving story from which we can all learn to take our worst moments and turn them into something good.
More in this episode:
- Christine’s lightbulb moment came at the full-term stillbirth of her first daughter, Maeve. The revelation was that she would figure out the next level in creating a legacy for her daughter
- After battling infertility and enduring three early miscarriages already, Christine was full of judgment and inner conflict about what motherhood would be like for her
- How she had difficulty getting pregnant and battled constant sickness and perinatal depression immediately
- Grief, guilt, and “degrees of loss” in this experience
- How Christine’s husband had to work through his personal grief and decide how to handle any feelings of blame he had toward his wife
- The best part of the loss was being surrounded by very supportive caregivers and getting connected to others who had gone through a stillbirth
- 1 in 160 pregnancies ends in stillbirth, with very few of those even making it full-term
- The whirlwind of leaving the doctor’s office, going to the hospital, getting induced to give birth, and planning picture and funeral details–not at all what Christine planned for her birthing experience
- During the grief process, the idea for the non-profit
- The options that grief presents us with, in moving forward, and what Christine chose
- Out of her loss grew a personality brand and a legacy to make sure Maeve would not be forgotten. “This is how I could parent her.”
- How Miles with Maeve provides coaching and support for athletes who want to reach an impossible goal
- Helping raise money for the four non-profits that were instrumental in helping them survive: Faith’s Lodge, Molly Bears, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, and Little Angel Gowns
- Christine’s rainbow baby, a second daughter, born 18 months after her first daughter (she is now 20 months old!)
- What Christine wants others to learn: “It all comes down to choice. Chuck Swindoll said, ‘I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react’. It’s what you choose to do with the worst thing that ever happens to you.”
Christine’s FB page
Christine’s FB group
Christine on Twitter
Christine on Insta
The Grace Awakening by Charles R. Swindoll
Thank you for this podcast. I too, had a full-term stillbirth on Thanksgiving day Nov. 27th 1997.Prior to I had 2 ectopic-1 ruptured and 3 miscarriages. 2 years later, under close dr.s watch and testing, I gave birth to a healthy son (scheduled c-section) My son is now 19. Sadly, my husband has recently passed from lung cancer. We were married 20 years, best friends…my life. Your podcast actually aired on our 24th wedding anniversary. I have had MANY losses. These plus I lost my mom when I was 7, my dad when I was 3 yrs old (dont remember) So grief and loss AND healing is a huge part of my being. Grief shows no prejudice, neither does cancer. Im not sure where I have gotten my resilience from. I know we are born with some already and life builds on that. My son is and has been, my reason to face each new day. He is so much like his dad, always, but even more so as he has entered manhood. His mannerisms, his caring loving being are Joey(his dad) and I realize that I “get to” see my husband EVERY day through him. Now, dont kid yourself. Some days, some moments, I am not so appreciative of this… I decided to start a community for those who have suffered a loss or those supporting another who has had a loss… “Grief Forward – Learning how to be and act in the world without our loved one by our side”
https://www.facebook.com/griefforward *also on wordpress.
Sorry for rambling. I just wanted to say THANK YOU. You inspire me Christine, although I am sorry for you and your husbands loss. CONGRATULATIONS on your 20 month old! I feel as though my daughter, Makenzie Joelle, lives through my son. Im not sure if you feel the same. You are courageous and will help so many. Thanks Becky. This is a great podcast and i wish you MUCH SUCCESS. The world is a BRIGHTER place because you have turned on the LIGHT(bulb).
and so it is……